been feeling sexually frustrated lately. the last few times my lover and i have spent together have been frustrating. i was on the net researching how to bring passion back to a relationship and read this article that said ‘without physical touch there can be no sexual attraction’. i mentioned that to my lover and got no response. later on i felt angry because he’s not a man who cares about being enlightened and finding ways to better things. or so i thought. he takes me out the next day and is holding my hand and touching my back and putting arms around me. he tells me he read an article after i spoke to him that said a woman needs to be touched on average of 50 times a day. by the end of that day i’m feeling really into him, we get jiggy w’it that night and its not too bad.
the reason i was researching passion and talking to him about that is because the last few times we’ve been together over the course of a couple of months he’s been doing this thing of trying to get my knickers off real quick hoping to get in and out before i have a chance to stop him. he isn't making it past 1st base because he keeps trying to run for 4th base off the bat. as soon as he does the crotch and boobs grab then tries to get my knickers off he gets knocked back. i’ve been telling him he’s going too fast, he needs to slow down, you don’t get to fourth base without going to 1st, 2nd and 3rd first, some foreplay, love and attention would be nice, i’ve also been telling him he doesn’t get sex on tap – he has to work for it. i don’t think he’s listening because nothing is changing.
we had that one day of 50 touches but the following time i see him its back to normal. our normal is him sitting around watching sports, chatting to me randomly about his stuff, not acknowledging me when i talk, me going up to him and flirting with him, hugging and touching him, him not doing it back to me, then when we’re in bed he’s doing the crotch and boob grabs, passing me the KY so i can lube myself up and he can gain access, without actually having to do any work. yuk!
after so many knock backs he’s now pulling out his victim card, ‘you’re not attracted to me’ while i’m saying ‘we should see other people’. i am attracted to him visually. he’s a good looking man. physically and mentally he just doesn't cut it and i’m wondering if sex is greener on the other side. ?
i get the feeling he is an emotionally baron and cold man who lacks intimacy. which is no reason to dislike him. he is still a good guy. but i don’t know if intimacy can be taught or even if he wishes to learn. what i do know is my sex life is frustrating and unenjoyable and he’s getting knocked back more often than getting lucky. luck is a really good word in this case because him ‘scoring’ has got very little to do with his sexual prowess and more to do with the fact that i'm in the mood. if i want it and i work myself up into being ready and he happens to be there and I happen to let him take part .. he gets lucky. but he himself, is just not putting any effort into it.
to me it is so logical, sex is like a sports game, you win when you put in the effort. if you didn’t win because you didn’t put in the effort or you put in the effort but still didn’t win you try a new game plan next time and you keep trying new game plans until you win. you keep working hard until you are expert at your game.
why isn’t he getting that????
to me it is so logical, sex is like a sports game, you win when you put in the effort. if you didn’t win because you didn’t put in the effort or you put in the effort but still didn’t win you try a new game plan next time and you keep trying new game plans until you win. you keep working hard until you are expert at your game.
why isn’t he getting that????
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